So you’ve gotten a girls number, you’ve spoken to her on the phone and arranged to meet up for a date. So what exactly should you do,...
where should you take her and what do you say to her? These questions plague most men’s minds when it comes to first dates with girls they really like.
Now beyond popular belief a perfect date does not consist of Lashing out hundreds of dollars on a fancy restaurant or a cruise around the harbour. Sometimes having really expensive dates can communicate the wrong thing to women, like over investment, Over Compensation or even low self-esteem and confidence especially on the first date.
The Value of a Date:
Girls are rarely impressed by a guy who uses money to get girls to like him, it is not attractive and they can even find it offensive.
So where does the value of a date come from?
It’s pretty safe to say not all women are the same and thus not all women like the same things, just because something works well in one date, doesn’t necessarily mean it will work on another. The value of a date doesn’t come from what you actually do on the date, the value comes from you. Yes that’s right you!
You don’t need to have an expensive date to show a girl a really good time, chances are she isn’t there to eat a lobster dinner or go on a cruise and if she is then you are setting yourself up for financial struggle in the future.
She’s not going to judge the date on how much you spend on her and if she’s a decent girl she has come out because she wants to get to know you better.
Things You Should Know:
After asking women what they think are the most important things a guy should do on a first date, I found a lot of commonalities in what girls told me.
1 – Don’t Be Late!!
You should always be punctual and if you are unable to get to a date on time, make sure to give her plenty of notice, you don’t want her to think she is being stood up.
2 – Don’t Take It Too Serious
It’s not a job interview, In most case, you’re not the only one who is nervous on a first date, it’s easy to forget that women get nervous too. It is important to make sure you make her feel comfortable, using humour can sometimes lighten the mood, break the tension and help both of you get comfortable.
3 – Pay Attention To Her, Get To Know Her
Take a genuine interest in her, Ask her interesting questions and listen to what she says, give her your full attention, be present in the moment, Listen and Respond don’t let your mind wander. It’s hard to make a connection with a girl if you are not truly interested in what she has to say. After all your there to get to know her. Don’t just talk about yourself
4 – Keep It light
Avoid Serious topics such as past relationships, politics or economy. Try to keep the conversation light, interesting and fun. Getting into negative topics or even talking about boring ones is a good way to drop the mood and make it boring
5 – Be A Gentleman
Being a gentleman means not being Arrogant, cocky or rude but more so being respectable, making sure you are groomed, A good tip I have When it comes to dress sense, always try to match the dress code of wherever you meet.
6 – Have a Plan
Know where you want the date to go, plan it out before hand, know where your going, what your going to do. Being indecisive or making her make the choices for you is not attractive.
7 – Most Important!
Be yourself, be honest, be genuine and be clear with your intentions!
Setting Up A Date:
On the point about having a plan, a man should take the lead when it comes to the date, he should know exactly what he plans on doing and where to go. It’s a major turn off when a man is indecisive or asks her to make the choice for him. I set up my dates in a certain way but they rely on 3 basic Principals. If you’re meeting at a certain area, be sure to know what’s around the area that may be interesting to explore.
1 – Keep It Casual
Taking women to a formal setting makes them feel like they have to behave in a formal manner, things like fancy restaurants for example put pressure on both of you to act a certain way.
2 – You can Talk
It is important that you can get to know each other on the first date; therefore you want to have an environment where you can both relax and talk. Things like Movies, Nightclubs or any loud environment is not an ideal location.
A Date doesn’t necessarily have to be set at only one location, you can change your location more than once, just because you start out having coffee doesn’t mean you can’t go across the road to play a game of pool.
My Date Structure:
My dates usually consist of 3 complex and intricate stages, they are called Beginning, Middle and End.
Beginning – Getting to Know Each Other
this is usually where we first meet, it is usually for coffee. Somewhere quiet were we can just talk for a little while.
Middle – Activity
this is usually something fun to do together, whether it’s playing pool, putt putt, going to a museum or even an arcade to play games.
End – Winding Down
this could be just going for a stroll afterwards, sitting down at a lounge bar with a drink or whatever you want to do, just a place where you can both can really connect because at this stage you both should be a little bit more relaxed with each other.
When to Kiss Her:
If you have not kissed her before meeting her on a date, then in my view you should always try to KISS her by the end of the date. Whether you do this verbally by telling her you want to kiss her or you confidently lean in and go for it. The worst that can happen is she will refuse you, So long as you’re a gentleman about it she will not hold it against you for trying.